Watch your back, Citizens of the Corrupt; haters lurk everywhere! Haters wanna hate! There’s no time for laughing. There’s not even time for lightly chuckling! They’re too busy hating! They’ll even find a way to hate on the following sequential artwork depicting Nintendo’s cherished classic, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D. Nevermind that its recent release is one of the first positive lights to shine on the fledgling 3DS, haters want to know what these scribblings are all about! Don’t worry though, we’re going to break it down for them to make sure there’s no confusion this week. We wouldn’t one of gaming’s most beloved titles to get misrepresented by sloppy, unclear writing. Get ready to go deep, hater!
Is it about Link trying to sleep while Navi gets a little too glow-y up in his ear? You bet it is, hater! Link’s tired from being out all day slinging Deku nuts and throwing sick game in Saria’s direction. Ocarina playing takes practice, and that little pixie minx isn’t going to serenade herself, hater. Obviously, it’s about that. Is it about how James Cameron definitely stole the name for his race of oversized Smurf-cats from Nintendo’s masterpiece? How he tried to hide it with an apostrophe? Come on, Jim, quit hating and give up some of that Smurf-cat money. It’s easy to be king of the world when you steal it. Obviously it’s about that.
Is it about how Link doesn’t want to be oppressed by the dictatorial rule of a giant talking, mustachioed tree, and that he’ll save the world on his own time because this is America. And in America, we sleep in instead of taking orders from plants, hater? Obviously it’s about that. Is it about how potential buyers of this game need to look out because save files are getting corrupted and deleted by faulty game cartridges? Obviously it’s about that. It’s in the title, after all. It’s not like there’s forty of these comics under the same banner, hater! That would be silly, and this is serious stuff, hater!
Hater, while you were busy hating, you could have been busy buying The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D for the 3DS right now.
Comic by Zac Landry.