With so many awful fighters in fighting games, Game Rant takes a look back at the five absolute suckiest, dumbest, and just plain lame characters ever.
With fan favorite character Alex joining Street Fighter V as a DLC character, fighting game fans have been intensely debating which classic characters should join the roster of the popular fighting game. But while there are plenty of great characters that surely deserve another day in the limelight, there are plenty of lame characters that are better forgotten. After all, for every Kazuya, there has to be a Lucky Chloe. So, join us as we take a look back at the five lamest fighting game characters ever.
5. Fat Mega Man (Street Fighter X Tekken)
Ask any diehard Mega Man fan how he or she feels about Capcom’s recent treatment of the Blue Bomber, and they will likely respond with uncontrollable sobbing. From shoehorning the beloved super fighting robot into mobile games, to pulling the plug on the highly anticipated Mega Man Legends 3, Capcom has not been kind to Mega Man. While MM fans wait to get their run-and-gun fix from Mighty No. 9, Capcom continues to parade the lifeless corpse of the once proud Mega Man around as a joke or a nostalgia cash-in, not unlike a video game version of Weekend At Bernie’s. Fans were excited when Capcom announced that Mega Man would be joining the roster of cross-over brawler Street Fighter X Tekken, but that excitement subsided as soon as Capcom revealed the Mega Man in question.
In a tongue-and-cheek ode to the awful American cover art for the original Mega Man, this Mega Man was a tubby man in an ill-fitting blue and yellow bodysuit with a dinky blaster. Gone was the Blue Bomber; in his place stood Danny Devito in a spandex fetish suit. Fat Mega Man was played for laughs, but he didn’t even have the moves to back up his appearance. Mega Man would later get a proper fighting game appearance in Super Smash Bros., but Fat Mega Man has been left behind, too lame to appear in anything else.
4. Angus MacGregor (Kasumi Ninja)
With Mortal Kombat ruling the arcades in the early 90’s, every game company was scrambling to release a knock-off to get a slice of that sweet, spine-ripping money pie. Atari’s answer to the popular fighter was Kasumi Ninja, a truly horrendous brawler released for the doomed Atari Jaguar. Filled to the brim with boring, generic characters and moves, Kasumi Ninja seemed destined to languish in the dollar bin at the local Funcoland. But there was character on the roster so incredibly bad it kept people talking about the game – a character so dumb, people just couldn’t ignore the game. That character was Angus MacGregor.
The idea of having a Scottish highland warrior as a fighting game character isn’t a bad idea, but instead of taking a page from Braveheart, Atari opted to just make the character a mish-mash of stereotypes: Angus is a kilt-wearing, hard drinking, quick-to-anger Scotsman. Also, he can throw fireballs from under his kilt. Yes, in addition to looking like Sean Connery’s second cousin, Angus can hurl fiery death from his crotch. Bizarre and borderline offensive, Angus MacGregor is legendary in his pure lameness.
3. Rufus (Street Fighter IV)
Coming up with a new character for a fighting game franchise is hard. Creating a character that can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the iconic characters that populate the series takes work. Sometimes, designers manage to create great characters that vibe with the rest of the cast, becoming classics in their own right. And sometimes, they create characters like Rufus.
This ponytail-rocking, happy trail-showing tub of lard bills himself as “America’s Greatest Fighter,” but his spins and kicks can’t hold a candle to Ken Masters, causing the rotund rumbler to devote his life to besting the American Ansatsuken fighter. With his grating loud-mouthed personality and gross appearance, Rufus was certainly unique, but that only helped to accentuate his flaws. Much like fellow obese obliterator Bob from Tekken, Rufus is a good fighter, but as a character he’s weak as can be.
2. Mokap (Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance)
With its magical demon ninjas and farting magical martial arts masters, Mortal Kombat is a series that has never taken itself too seriously. But sometimes, Mortal Kombat manages to cross the threshold from “silly and fun” into “just plain dumb.” Case in point: the ball-covered doofus that is Mokap.
Wanting to pay homage to the motion capture artists that work tirelessly to bring the characters of Mortal Kombat to life, Ed Boon and company opted to put a martial arts master/motion capture actor on the roster. Problem is, compared to the bloodthirsty sorcerers, psychic blind swordsmen, and robot ninjas, Mokap, with his skintight blue-and-black body suit and giant, impossible-to-miss ball coverings, just looked like a big dork. Mokap was such a dweeb, in fact, that he wasn’t even deemed important enough to receive a fatality or weapon of his own. As a testament to Mokap’s pure suckitude, the character’s last appearance in the series is as a wandering NPC in Mortal Kombat: Deception’s Konquest mode that can be punched and made to yell “ow, my balls!” A Mortal Kombat X contender this man is not.
1. Fred Durst (Fight Club)
Even people that haven’t seen Fight Club know Fight Club. The movie poster of choice of college freshmen, Fight Club has cemented itself as a bonafide cult classic, with its mixture of hyper masculinity, memorable characters, and… love of Limp Bizkit? Okay, the notoriously awful nu metal band (that seems repetitive) has nothing to do with the movie or book on which Fight Club the game is based, but that didn’t stop developer Genuine Games from shoehorning the backwards baseball cap adorned uber tool into this mess of a game.
Yes, the man responsible for unleashing “Rollin’” on the world appears as an unlockable character in this forgettable movie cash-in, letting music fans around the world punch Durst in the face as everyone from Tyler Durden to Abraham Lincoln (who has shown up in much better games, as noted in our top five list of presidential video game appearances). A truly awful character, in a truly awful video game, nets Fred Durst the title of lamest fighting game character of all time.
What do you make of our list? Do you think we’ve been too critical of some of these characters? Or are there even more lame fighters that should have been mentioned? Let us know in the comments below!