The Velocipastor is a movie that came out in 2017. Created by Brendan Steere, this is a movie that was intentionally made to be bad. The creators knew exactly what they were doing, so they were able to do it well. It's so bad that it actually ends up being one of the most enjoyable movies to watch, especially with friends.
The Velocipastor is about a priest whose parents die from a car explosion. He gets advice to travel to a place where God does not exist so he can try to find him again to regain his connection. Then the priest, Doug, decides to fight crime with the encouragement of a hooker named Carol whom he saved from her pimp, Frankie Mermaid. Then a bunch of stuff happens with some ninjas and an exorcism and a lot of cocaine. There's a plot twist, a ninja fight against a dinosaur, and then Doug no longer is a priest and decides to travel the world to kill criminals with his now girlfriend, Carol.
If audiences weren't sure what kind of movie they were about to watch, the filmmakers clearly let people know with the opening scene. The filmmakers clue the audience in on how they are aware this movie is not to be taken seriously, and is meant to be made fun of for the purpose of having a good time. The opening scene shows how Doug's parents died. One moment Doug is talking to his parents and he waves to them. The film cuts to a shot of the parents waving back while standing in front of a car, then back to Doug.
An explosion is heard off-screen while still focussing on Doug who gets back up from the shock wave of the explosion, and he looks horrified. The camera cuts back to where the parents were just standing. There is no debris from the wreckage, there's no burning car, there's nothing that would suggest an explosion just happened. Where Doug's parents stood moments ago, a plain white text appears on screen that says "VFX: Car on fire." Doug is upset about the loss of his parents and goes to talk to a priest with more experience. Then the priest says "so your parents died, Doug, it's what they do." But he also is the one to tell Doug to go find god in a godless land.
While in this "godless land," Doug sees a ninja fighting a woman in a white Karate suit in a forest. The woman gets shot with an arrow through the heart and is dying. Still, Doug asks the woman, "whoah, are you hurt?" because this is a comedy movie. The woman gives Doug a velociraptor claw and he accidentally cuts his hand on it. Doug goes into a hallucinogenic state where he blacks out and wakes up back home in America. Doug is really going through it, and he runs outside passing by Carol who we are introduced to next. Carol is with her pimp who asks her why people call him Frankie Mermaid, to which she replies "because you're swimming in b****es."
Doug realizes his desire to fight crime when one night he transforms into The Velocipastor and sees Carol about to get mugged. He saves her from the robbers and kills them. Doug has repressed his sexual nature because of his priesthood. So when he wakes up in bed with Carol, he immediately thinks they had intercourse because of the way Carol is talking. But she reveals to Doug what he does during his blackouts, and helps to encourage him to eliminate murderers and criminals in the world. Doug rejects the idea. But later during a confessional, Frankie Mermaid admits to killing a bunch of people and even babies. Then says he's the one who killed Doug's parents. Doug transforms into a dinosaur once again and kills Frankie Mermaid.
That's when Doug realizes what he has is a gift, and he can now do the lord's work with his newfound abilities. But it turns out that the ninja that he saw while in China was actually a member of an organized group of criminals ninjas in America led by some very religious men who are upset with Doug for killing their low-level working criminals. Doug eventually goes back to the same priest who told him to go find god and tells him about the beast inside of him. The priest performs an exorcism on Doug to remove the beast, but it backfires and causes Doug to morph into The Velocipastor and injure the priest. That's when Doug discovers the group of ninjas who are seeking to kill him.
The goal of the ninjas is to produce a very addictive drug, own the market, then pull the product and make it to where their religious organization would be the only alternative for help. That way, everyone would have to turn to them for healing and make people emotionally invested in their religion, so that they would be loyal and never go against what they say. There is a big final battle with The Velocipastor, Carol, and the ninjas. Doug rips off the head of his enemy and the frame pauses.
A big quote appears across the bloodied image of Doug holding a head that reads "Only through the elimination of violence, we will finally be able to achieve world peace." Anyone who likes a good comedy movie with some self-aware writing and directing would enjoy this movie. There are a ton of laugh-out-loud moments and memorable quotes.