Let’s face facts: people will always judge a book by its cover. It’s easy to get distracted by a flashy presentation and not realize the content being consumed is really quite bad. Indeed, nowhere is this truer than the realm of television.
For as long as the small screen has existed, underwhelming and disappointing programs have managed to garner a decent level of popularity by having a mesmerizing ‘cover’ – a great theme tune. Who cares if the show itself is bland or misogynistic or full of plot holes or nonsensical? A catchy earworm isn't enough to save a show by itself, of course, but it can trick viewers into believing they're watching something better than they really are. A good theme song will outlive the she it's from. Even years after they've left the airwaves, these shows will be remembered not for their plots or characters, but their opening themes.
Hawaii Five-0 (2010 Reboot)
There are only two good things about this 2010 reboot of the classic 60s series: the gorgeous locale and the fantastic theme song. The modern iteration of Hawaii Five-0 is at-best a run-of-the-mill police procedural that balances one-note plots with obvious ‘copaganda’, and at worst is a production that systemically underpaid its BIPOC staff (really – Google it). Nevertheless, for 10 straight seasons, fans kept coming back for more. Why? Probably just to hear that famous theme over the opening credits.
With upbeat drums and smooth brass, the theme effortlessly sells a feeling of ‘cool’, as if there’s nothing more awesome than solving crime in Hawaii (which, to be fair, there isn’t). Written by Morton Stevens for the original 60s series and continued in the reboot, the theme won an Emmy for ‘Outstanding Musical Composition’ and still remains stuck in the head of viewers to this day.
The Big Bang Theory
The Big Bang Theory is something of an enigma. The show isn’t funny (“bazinga!”), it excused misogynistic behavior under the guise of the main characters being socially inept (“of course Howard can sexually harass women! He’s a nerd!”), and it slowly morphed from being a sitcom into being a rom-com. And, yet, it was one of the highest rated shows in TV history. Why? It’s all down to Jim Parsons’ incomparable performance as Sheldon Cooper, and the Barenaked Ladies’ incredible theme song.
Really, BNL’s theme song perfectly threads the needle. It references the scientific theme of the show whilst also injecting much-needed personality, whimsy, and humor into proceedings. After listening to the way-too-catchy song, viewers can be forgiven for thinking The Big Bang Theory was actually funny.
The Drew Carey Show
The Drew Carey Show is so close to being ‘good’ TV. The first season was great fun, cementing Carey as comedically capable and stood out as being a true celebration of Cleveland, Ohio, the home of the “everyman” according to the show. However, as writing responsibilities were swapped about in later seasons, the comedy took it a hit and the show ended as a shell of the great TV it used to be, losing favor with both critics and viewers.
But, one thing stayed resolute – it always had a rocking theme tune. Written by Ian Hunter and covered by The Presidents of the United States of America for the show, Cleveland Rocks spoke to how much the show loved Cleveland and shared its understatedly punk point-of-view. Up-tempo, loud, and brash, the song was a level of quality that the show, unfortunately, couldn’t meet.
Baywatch
Look, no one has ever claimed Baywatch is a ‘good’ TV show. The cultural phenomenon was always just propelled by the image of its overly attractive cast running with fervour down a beach – no one cared about the B-tier soap plotlines the show used, they were in it just for Mitch Buchanan (David Hasselhoff) and C.J. Parker (Pamela Anderson) et al. Naturally, then, it helped that the show came with a fantastic theme song.
Written by Jimi Jamison and entitled I’m Always Here, the song creates the perfect backdrop for the heightened reality of the show. The melody is melodramatic, the lyrics are saccharine, and the tune is classic 80s fun. Really, any show with this song would succeed – stick it on Game of Thrones Season 8 and maybe people would’ve liked it more