That 70s Show served as a quintessential show for teens in the late 90s and early 2000s. And it's making its return to Netflix with a reboot called That 90s Show. The original coming of age story about a group of teenage friends appealed to the teens of the time. It was also filled with memorable quotes.
While the teens were known for delivering some zingers, many of the best quotes came from Red Forman. Played by Kurtwood Smith, the grumpy dad was always able to deliver something that had the audience rolling with laughter.
10 Ooh! Eric's In A Fight! No One's Here! No One's Gonna Believe Me! Why Didn't I Bring My Camera?
This quote from Red came during episode 14 of season seven entitled Street Fighting Man of That 70s Show. Eric and his friends have brought Red to a Packers game. Red and Eric are finally bonding until Eric buys a Bears jersey at the stadium. But, when another fan begins to pick on Eric; Eric stands up for himself, winning the fight and surprising Red.
Unfortunately for Red, everyone else that came with them is gone at the moment this happens. As it's the 70s and cell phones haven't been invented yet, he has no way to capture the moment to prove that his son actually can defend himself.
9 When My Time Comes, I Want To Be Buried Face Down, So That Anybody That Doesn’t Like Me Can Kiss My Ass
Red delivered this quote in episode 11 of season three entitled Who Wants It More? of That 70s Show. A gardening accident causes Red to rethink how he's been as a father. He tries to be a softer, gentler man for his kids and their friends.
By the end of the episode, Red has reverted to being America's favorite grumpy dad. When thinking ahead to his funeral he delivers this amazing line that lets everyone know just how he feels. It sums up Red Forman to a "T."
8 That's Your Brain Trying To Comprehend Its Own Stupidity
Red Forman delivers this devastating line to a hungover Eric in episode nine of season three entitled Hyde's Christmas Rager. Eric gets drunk at Hyde's party and then proceeds to mock his father when he returns home. Unfortunately for Eric, Red is nearby and hears everything. Surprisingly, Red doesn't yell at Eric while he's drunk, but wait until morning.
When morning arrives, Eric is now hungover, and Red is ready to deliver the browbeating of his life. Red knew if he waited, it would be more painful for Eric to hear. While Eric is dealing with his hangover and complaining about his headache, Red delivers this awesome line, taking Eric down a peg.
7 All I Did Was Scratch Your Mother's Shoes. I Didn't Pull Her Pants Down In Front Of God And The Foreign Kid
Another classic zinger delivered by Red came in episode 15 of season three entitled Donna's Panties. While playing a game of pickup basketball, Eric pulled Donna's pants down in front of the group of friends to prevent her from scoring on him. This leads to a very bad situation as Donnas has been embarrassed in front of her friends.
While seeking advice from his father, Red tells Eric a nice story about a mistake he made with Kitty and how they were able to overcome it. Then, he delivers this epic line letting Eric know that what he did to Donna was far worse than anything Red did to Kitty.
6 So You're Too Proud To Take Her Back? And What Do You Have To Be So Proud Of? You're Not An Athlete, The Only Smart Thing About You Is Your Mouth... And Just Look At You
This is part of a nice little rant delivered by both Red and Kitty to Eric, played by Topher Grace, in episode 27 of season four entitled Love, Wisconsin Style. After Donna wants to get back together with Eric, but Eric rejects her, his parents let him have it. It begins with Kitty, of all people, calling her son a "dumbass."
But Red really gets going letting Eric know how much he's blowing it by not getting back together with Donna. Donna has been presented as too good for Eric, and Eric's parents know it. While Eric's decision makes some sense when he presents his point of view, Red still brings up some good points as to why it's not a good decision.
5 Well, That’s, That’s Perfect Eric. Use That Line When You’re Up For Miss America
Red chastises Eric for diplomacy in episode three of season one entitled Streaking. President Ford is set to visit Point Place and Red Forman is ready to voice his displeasure with the unelected President of the United States. This decision has others worried about what he might say, so Red asks Eric his thoughts on the matter.
Eric, who is usually snarky, gives a very diplomatic response because he's worried about his plan to streak during the visit and how his father will react. After hearing Eric's thoughts, Red delivers the snark as he mocks Eric's opinion.
4 Responsible People Don't Go Around Getting Their Nipples Twisted
Red teaches Eric about responsibility in episode 14 of season one entitled Stolen Car. Red notices a scratch on the Vista Cruiser and takes the keys away from Eric. Eric protests saying it was Kelso, played by Ashton Kutcher, and his decision to give Eric a "purple nurple" while he was driving is what caused the scratch on the car.
Red delivers a valid point when addressing the issue. Eric wants Red to believe he's responsible, but causing a scratch on a car, added with the fact that Eric tried to hide it, shows irresponsibility. Red knows how to call out this irresponsibility in the funniest way possible.
3 Yelling Is The Only Part Of Being A Father That I Enjoy
Red is reacting negatively to the news his teenage son has gotten engaged, and may want to start a family of his own, when he delivers this gem in episode 15 of season 5 entitled When the Levee Breaks. Eric and Donna have been through some rough times and have come out stronger, but they are still young and immature. Red is actually being a concerned father, but it's hard to tell when he yells this at Eric.
Red knows Eric and Donna are making a mistake, and he's hoping to prevent it. The series shows Red being a loving father many times, so it's clear this line is delivered more from frustration than sincerity. Still, it's a great comedic moment for a serious situation.
2 It Might… I Just Had A Heart Attack
In the aftermath of Red's heart attack in the That 70s Show season five finale, Red delivers this line to Kitty in episode one of season six entitled The Kids Are Alright. Eric has made a selfless decision to stay and help the family due to Red's health issues. Eric also hands over his entire paycheck to the family to help with medical bills. It's selfless and incredibly responsible for someone who has been shown as irresponsible for five seasons.
Red responds angrily to Eric's decision because Red doesn't want Eric to give up college. And when Kitty points out that it's a mature decision by Eric and "it wouldn't kill you to thank him," Red responds with a funny reference to his heart attack.
1 I Wish I Had 2,000 Feet So I Could Put 500 Of Them In Each Of Your Asses
Red discovers the boys have been smoking cannabis in his basement in episode one of season three entitled Reefer Madness. Hyde has been arrested for possession, Eric has admitted to smoking as well, and Red lets all the teens in his basement know what he thinks about marijuana.
This perfectly encapsulates Red Forman when he is angry at his son and his son's friends. Red always threatened to break his foot off in people's asses, and he hated drug use. Regardless of any views on cannabis today, this was the perfect response for hard-nosed father in the 1970s and the perfect response by Red Forman.
That '90s Show is available on Netflix