We’ve got a confession to make, my fellow Corrupticons. If blue, tentacle-coifed alien love is wrong, then we don’t even want to know what right is. Just because Mass Effect 3 may look like little more than a universe-spanning space opera doesn’t mean that it can’t be so much more for those of us looking for that special psychically-enhanced “experience.” Guys or girls, the game isn’t here to judge. Developer BioWare knows that we are all the mercy of our primal, cosmic space-lust. It’s exactly why we play the game; ask Fox News.
And now that Mass Effect 3 uses Kinect, integrating voice commands into the gameplay, it’s only going to get better. Just think of the levels of immersion that will be reached for the first time. Mumbling awkwardly through an intimate exchange with a creature, of any species, that is way out of our league will have never felt so real. It’ll be just like the rejections I get every Thursday at Cosmic Bowling Night over at Pin Parlor, right down to the crazy laser lighting. But this time, rejection be the outcome; will it? No, it won’t because Mass Effect 3 is going to have me prepped and ready. It’s not going to take six PBRs, two nacho plates and a wing platter to get your attention this time, Lucille!
Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait until March 6th, 2012, to see who can resist your N7 charms.
Comic by Zac Landry.