There are many wonderful and beautiful love stories in Middle Earth, from the ancient tales of Beren and Luthien, ancestors of Aragorn and Arwen, to the enduring love and loyalty of Eowyn and Faramir, whose union is an inspiration to many Lord of the Rings enthusiasts. So why do Frodo and Bilbo never find love? One possible reason for their perpetual single status could be to do with how odd they are deemed in the shire.
It is said within the introduction to the trilogy that "Bilbo and Frodo were as bachelors, very exceptional, as they were also in many other ways, such as their friendship with the elves." They are labeled as peculiar by many a hobbit, far before the days of their adventures, due to the fact that they both stem from a mixture of the Fallohide and the Stoor lines of the 3 different types of hobbits.
The Fallohides, known for their wildness and adventurous streak, mixed with the Stoors, thought of as odd because of their love of water and aquatic sports, make an interesting combination. And the Brandybucks, to whose family Frodo’s mother belonged, were considered particularly odd, because their ways were very different past the Brandywine Bridge to those of the hobbits in The Shire.
In the first chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring, a group of busy-bodies in the Green Dragon pub say ‘They’re a queer breed, seemingly. They fool about with boats on that big river’ - which is a particularly Stoorish trait. Therefore, they were perhaps unable to find love because they were always slightly estranged from the rest of their peers, and were never allowed to just exist in peace without perpetual rumors floating around that they were both ‘cracked.’ This of course only got worse when they were found to have dealings with the lives of elves and dwarves, and especially Gandalf the Grey wizard, who was thought to be the most ludicrous troublemaker to have ever visited Hobbiton.
However, many Lord of The Rings fans believe that the reason for their lack of close, loving relationships stems from a far more emotive and traumatic aspect that they both share: that of loss. Indeed, anyone who has seen The Hobbit films will know that Bilbo lost 3 of his dearest friends in the battle to reclaim Erebor, the dwarven home under the Lonely Mountain.
The line of Durin, namely Thorin, Killi, and Filli, were very close friends and companions to Bilbo during his barrel-riding days, and helped him survive many close encounters, including his run-in with the ancient spiders of Mirkwood, and during the riddles in the dark he played with Gollum when he found the One Ring of power. Their loss was a bitter and devastating blow, and one that Bilbo carried with him long into old age.
Frodo is also no stranger to great and grievous loss, for his parents died when he was just 12, in a terrible boating accident. He was fortunate enough to be adopted by Bilbo and allowed to live in Bag-end, but he too spent much of his time alone in the wake of his parent’s tragic demise. Perhaps these losses and traumas that both characters have suffered prevented them from forming loving romantic relationships, for fear of losing anyone else.
And the third reason, which is considered by many to be the most likely, is that they never truly shook the hold that the One Ring had on them. Throughout the 60 years between Bilbo’s adventures with the desolation of Smaug, and the start of Frodo’s journey to Mount Doom, Bilbo had the ring on him almost the entire time. It began to seep into his very being, to the point where he couldn’t leave the house without it, couldn’t think or eat or sleep unless it was present.
When Frodo inherited the ring and was tasked with the harrowing quest of destroying it in Mordor, he also suffered the alluring voice of the ring. The closer they got to the evil lands in which it was created, the more it weighed on both his mind and his body, even becoming so heavy that the chain it was carried on left burn marks in Frodo’s skin. The sad truth of the matter is that after such a close and intense obsession with the object, which twisted and manipulated their every desire, there is a high chance that neither Frodo or Bilbo were ever able to find love, or marry and settle down with a family, because they knew deep down that they would never be able to love another as much as they loved the ring.
According to the Unfinished Tales, when asked years later why he thought Bilbo never married, Gandalf’s wise reply was that ‘He wanted to remain unattached for some reason deep down which he could not understand himself - or would not acknowledge for it alarmed him. He wanted all the same to be free to go when the time came or he had made up his courage.’ Both Frodo and Bilbo always had one foot out of the door, they were always ready to be swept off down the road on an adventure, and that is part of why they both had to leave for the Undying Lands, because once they had had a taste of all the world had to offer, their hearts were too full to ever settle back into the peace and simplicity of The Shire.