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The Kingdom Hearts series is renowned for its unusual premise and storytelling methods. With its bold and sometimes jarring narrative, it is only logical that the game's arsenal would be chock-full of strange and impractical weaponry. From dice to sitars, the Kingdom Hearts refuses to play by the rules when it comes to incorporating classical means of combat.
The most iconic weapon present in the franchise is the Keyblade, an overly large key-like weapon that possesses the power to open any lock. Though the Kingdom Key's magical properties are incontrovertible, there are several Keyblades seen throughout the series that are completely impractical.
10 Metal Chocobo
The Metal Chocobo is a Keyblade unlocked upon defeating Cloud in the Hercules Cup in Kingdom Hearts 1. Its strength makes it one of the most powerful Keyblades if it is obtained during the earlier stages of the game.
Though it is a powerful Keyblade, its design is ridiculous. It is reminiscent of Cloud's iconic Buster Sword with its coloring and Materia slots, but its shape would render it almost impossible to wield effectively. It bears more similarities to a plastic toy than a powerful blade.
9 Fairy Harp
The Fairy Harp Keyblade is unlocked upon completing the story of Neverland in Kingdom Hearts 1. Though it can boost Sora's strength by 8 points, its benefits in combat are severely lacking due to its poor design.
The Fairy Harp is one of the smallest Keyblades present throughout the Kingdom Hearts series. It might have been a useful weapon during the beginning of the story, but restricting its obtainability to this stage of the game, renders it a poor means of attacking the end-game's more agile foes.
8 Crabclaw
Upon sealing the keyhole in Atlantica, Ariel gives Sora the Crabclaw, a weak Keyblade with a laughable design. The Crabclaw is undoubtedly one of the strangest seen throughout the series, as it does not look anything like a weapon capable of vanquishing the darkness.
Where one would expect to see the key's teeth is, instead, a crab with outstretched claws. Though crabs can certainly cause injury with their sharp pincers, the Crabclaw would do very little if swung at one of the more intimidating foes present in the series.
7 Wishing Star
The Wishing Star can be obtained upon returning to Traverse Town after completing Monstro's world. If the player explores the town, they may come across an entirely new building in the 1st District where Gepetto now resides. Here lies a chest containing the Wishing Star.
Its design renders its practicality non-existent, as it looks more like a child's toy than Sora's wooden sword. Made entirely out of wood with a few cogs visible around the handle, the Wishing Star would be a terrible choice to equip for any battles thrown at the player.
6 Zero/One
The Zero/One Keyblade can be unlocked by defeating Sora's heartless in the Datascape, a virtual world that documents the past events of Sora's life. Though it is one of the most powerful Keyblades in Kingdom Hearts: Re: Coded, it would lack any usefulness if brought into the real world.
Its design is similar to that of the Kingdom Key, Sora's primary weapon, but it has been influenced by the virtual world in which it exists. Its pixel-art aesthetic renders it an amalgamation of strange shapes and colors and that renders it a jumbled mess. Though its placement in this computer confined plane is fitting, the idea of Sora wielding binary code as a weapon is baffling.
5 Victory Line
The Victory Line can be unlocked after winning the Rumble Racing minigame in Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep. Its design is heavily influenced by the locations seen in the world of Disney Town with multiple buildings and Mickey Mouse symbols combined.
Birth By Sleep follows the stories of Terra, Aqua, and Ven as they try to prevent Xehanort from summoning Kingdom Hearts to purge the worlds of light and darkness. The climax of this game saw a bitter end for its protagonists as, though they stopped Xehanort, their lives were ruined in the process. With the Victory Line Keyblade in their possession, it is no wonder their stories ended how they did.
4 Hunny Spout
The Hunny Spout obtained after completing the story of 100 Acre Wood in Kingdom Hearts 3. Though it can be an effective means of combat while battling distant enemies, its design and mechanics render it more of a utensil than an offensive weapon.
The Hunny Spout is constructed entirely out of wood, pottery, and honey. If used in a real combat setting, it would immediately shatter upon contact while making a mess in the process. The shotlock associated with the Hunny Spout allows Sora to shoot blobs of honey at his enemies and, though it is effective in dispatching multiple enemies at once, getting covered in honey is more of a bother than a danger.
3 Sweetstack
The Sweetstack Keyblade is rewarded to the player after completing the Ice Cream Beat minigame in Birth By Sleep. Its design tells the story of how it was obtained: by successfully creating the seven unique ice cream flavors by stacking multiple scoops on three separate cones.
Its design is endearing, but far from practical. If Aqua wandered into the Realm of Darkness with the Sweetstack as her only weapon, the only way it could contribute to her survival would be if she consumed the weapon in its entirety. It may be an effective method of combat in the game, but in the real world, a spoon would easily cut through it.
2 Combined Keyblade
The Combined Keyblade is a strange Keyblade that can only be used in very particular situations. With two handles present where one would expect to see a hilt, the blade can only be wielded by two people at the same time.
Sora and Riku use the Combined Keyblade in Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance during their time in The World That Never Was. While Sora slips deeper into a world of slumber, Riku appears by his side to assist him in wielder this ridiculous key against his enemies. Though it has become an iconic addition to the game's arsenal, its method of wielding renders it one of the most impractical Keyblades in the series.
1 X-Blade
One of the most iconic weapons seen throughout the Kingdom Hearts series is the X-blade, a combination of two Kingdom Keys that has the power to summon Kingdom Hearts. Though it is arguably the most powerful Keyblade present in the series, wielding it effectively would be impossible.
With two Keyblades and a shape blade protruding from the center, the X-Blade is an intimidating weapon, but to use it in battle would be difficult due to its size. In a game where agility is the main premise of combat, wielding this overly large and unusually shaped blade may cause more injury to its wielder than an enemy.
Kingdom Hearts 4 is now in development.