Highlights

  • King of the Hill is a beloved animated program that still gets referenced today, and fans will be happy to know that a new season is coming in the future.
  • While the release date for the new season has yet to be determined, there is plenty of existing King of the Hill media to enjoy, including memorable quotes from Hank Hill.
  • Hank Hill's iconic quotes cover a range of topics, from parenting and relationships to pop culture references, showcasing the humorous and relatable nature of the show.

King of the Hill may not have been as long-lasting as some other animated programs, but it's a huge part of the Fox animation lineup and still gets referenced to this day. Hank Hill quotes appear in memes as if his show is still on the air. King of the Hill fans can rejoice as there is going to be a new season that takes place fifteen years in the future.

When that season will hit has yet to be determined, but it probably won’t be until spring of 2024, although bigger surprises have happened. In the meantime, here are some of Hank’s best and funniest quotes, and in turn, his best episodes.

Updated November 12, 2023, by Kristy Ambrose: It's been confirmed that Hank Hill and his friends and family are coming back to television, but the waiting is the hardest part. As the months tick by and fans and critics alike wait for the release dates, there's already a lot of existing King of the Hill media for everyone to enjoy, including some of the best Hank Hill lines. Here are a few more clever, funny King Of The Hill quotes from everyone's favorite Texan, husband, father, and propane salesman.

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15 “Bobby, Go To Your Room!”

More Than A Quote, It's A Catchphrase

A scene featuring characters from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S1 E2, "Square Peg"

This is a quote that Hank often says throughout the show. Bobby is always doing something wrong in the eyes of Hank. One of the funniest instances comes from the episode “Square Peg,” in which Peggy is asked to teach Sex Ed as a substitute.

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When Bobby brings Hank his permission slip and says it comes from Washington D.C., the very mention of the capital gets Bobby sent to his room. It’s ridiculous in the most Hank way possible.

14 “There Better Be A Naked Cheerleader Under Your Bed!”

Sometimes, The Alternative Is Even Worse

Goodbye Normal Jeans S05E04 split image
  • Episode: S7 E4, "Goodbye Normal Jeans"

Sometimes Bobby just can't win, which is the main point of the episode. A running theme of the show is Hank and Bobby's sincere but often unsuccessful attempts to connect via a common interest, and that subject takes up most of the plot in one of the holiday episodes, "Goodbye Normal Jeans."

Hank sees Bobby with a cheerleader uniform in his room, which prompts this quote. The answer isn't what he wants to hear: Bobby is taking a Home Economics course. Things heat up when he takes over the kitchen when it's time to prepare Thanksgiving dinner and clashes with Peggy.

13 “It's Clearly An Inferior Tobacco!"

What Else Could It Possibly Be?

High Anxiety King of the Hill Hank in the car, lighter
  • Episode: S4 E14, "High Anxiety"

The paranoia around cannabis use can be just as bad as any actual anxiety problems that it might cause, which is part of the theme of this episode. Hank uses Gayle's lit cigarette to light his own hand-rolled tobacco, and only too late does he discover that Gayle is smoking something else.

Even after Gayle explains what it is, Hank's quote indicates that he still thinks it's tobacco, until he makes the connection further into the conversation. This causes Hank to panic, and the series of events that follows makes him think he might have killed someone in the midst of a drug-induced blackout.

12 “I’m Gonna Sell Propane And Propane Accessories If My Grades Are Good Enough”

Everyone Needs Something To Fall Back On

A scene featuring characters from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S1 E3, "The Order of the Straight Arrow"

Hank’s love of propane is his defining characteristic and is the source of some of the best King Of The Hill quotes. It’s about as blue-collar of a job as one can get, but Hank treats it with pristine care. In the episode, “The Order of the Straight Arrow,” Hank has a quick time travel flashback with the boys in which he utters this line.

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The very idea that Hank thinks he needs good grades to sell propane is precious. It’s a good quote to show how innocent and somewhat naive Hank is in King of the Hill.

11 “6 A.M. And Already The Boy Ain’t Right”

Another Attempt To Connect With Bobby Fails, But Hank Never Stops Trying

Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2 E2, "Texas City Twister"

This episode begins with a cold opening that is unrelated to the main plot. In it, Bobby runs into the kitchen with just a shirt on and excitedly sees fresh underwear in the basket on the table. He rubs it on his face before putting them on while ripping his shirt off.

The scene is fluid in motion and the disgust on Hank’s face is great. Bobby didn’t even do anything wrong. He just has a high appreciation for clean laundry as if there’s a problem with that. Hank just can't miss an opportunity to say one of the best and most infamous King Of The Hill quotes.

10 “Elmo, Aladdin, Jenny McCarthy, I Don’t Even Know What These Things Are.”

Pop Culture References The Viewer Gets But Hank Doesn't

Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2.E4, "Hilloween"

“Hilloween” is an all-time classic episode of King of the Hill. It shows Hank isn’t afraid to have a little fun now and again. He takes the holiday of Halloween very seriously. That is until someone at his church, Junie Harper, starts to call it a devil’s holiday.

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The Hank Hill quote above comes into play when Bobby is trying to pick out a costume. Hank not knowing Aladdin and Elmo is funny enough, but asking what a Jenny McCarthy is as if the actress is a thing is like icing on the cake.

9 "You Just Gotta Grab A Beer And Let It Burn."

The Wisdom To Accept What Can't Be Changed

Aisle 8a King of the Hill
  • Episode: S4 E8, "Aisle 8a"

Some sage advice from the episode, "Aisle 8a" about accepting the things that cannot be changed. This episode is mostly about Connie, the Hills' neighbor and close friend to Bobby, who often ends up next door and grows close to the family.

Connie is staying with the Hills while her parents are out of town, but matters get complicated when she gets her first period and Hank finds himself in one of his most challenging situations. All's well that ends well, of course, but the journey there is an epic one with several twists and turns.

8 “It’s All Well To Talk About Equal Rights Until Some Man Loses His Job”

And Needs Someone To Blame Instead Of Looking Inward

Bobby and Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2 E10, "Bobby Slam"

This quote was funny at the time, because fans knew what Hank was trying to say. He isn’t against women’s rights. He’s angrier at the idea that Bobby almost made a team until Connie got him kicked off for being better. Hank just wants Bobby to excel at a sport and be “normal” in his eyes.

This King Of The Hill quote might induce some cringeworthy today, but again, it isn’t exactly coming from a bad place. The episode empowers women, with Peggy being at the center of the storyline.

7 “It’s Too Late”

This Is Texas, and Snow Means The Rapture

Peggy and Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2 E13, "Snow Job"

Whenever it snows in Texas, in reality, the state seems to go into post-apocalypse mode. That’s easy to understand, as they rarely get such weather. This is perfectly illustrated in the episode “Snow Job” wherein it lightly starts to sprinkle during a propane picnic.

When Hank runs off to deliver an emergency amount of fuel to the town, Peggy tells him, “Don’t be a hero Hank.” That’s when he utters the line, “It’s too late” in complete seriousness.

6 "An ‘F’ In English? Bobby, You Speak English!"

A Misunderstanding Of An Academic Subject Becomes A Weapon Between Rivals

Old Glory King of the Hill
  • Episode: S4 E11, "Old Glory"

The title of this episode, "Old Glory," isn't just a reference to the American flag, but also to life-long personal rivalries. This is a story about Peggy and Bobby, with the former worried about her career and the latter about just getting through the school day. Hank opens the episode with this quote but isn't involved in the rest of the story.

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The actual flag in this episode was adopted by Bill when he found out the Army base was going to destroy it. He takes it home and puts it in his own front yard, and it inspires Bobby's homework essay, which in turn gives Peggy the idea to write Bobby's essay to show up her rival, Bobby's English teacher.

5 “I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Vomit”

A Quote That's Aged Well

Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2.E22 - Propane Boom Part 1

“Propane Boom Part 1” is one of the biggest episodes of the early seasons of King of the Hill. It is a two-parter that ends with Mega Lo Mart exploding. Before that, Hank loses his job and is forced to work there when he can’t find anything else to do.

He says this quote when he finds out Luanne’s dopey boyfriend, Buckley, is the manager of the propane department. It makes him sick to his stomach and for good reason.

4 "Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking."

A Summation Of The American Attitude Towards Soccer

Three Coaches And a Bobby King of the Hill
  • Episode: S3 E12, "Three Coaches And a Bobby"

After the parents give the original coach a difficult time, Coach Saunders takes over to fill the void. His methods of dicipline and motivation are "old school," and his punitive, insulting, and often abusive methods drive Bobby's friends to The Wind, a local kids' soccer team.

Bobby usually plays football, but when Hank's tough former coach steps in to take charge of the team, the aspiring young athlete joins the soccer team instead. This is what prompts the Hank Hill quote that seems to compare the rough and often dangerous world of American professional sports with the kinder and gentler world of European football.

3 “I Don’t See Any Reason Your Father Needs To Find Out About This”

The Shame Of Bad Woodworking

Joseph and Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S4 E4, "Little Horrors of Shop"

“Little Horrors of Shop” is another episode in which Hank leaves the propane business, but only because he is forced to take a vacation. When he finds out the shop class has no substitute, Hank jumps in and finds his calling as a teacher.

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He looks at the birdhouses first. Joseph’s is among the worst, which Hank finds embarrassing for Dale’s sake. It’s only a birdhouse, but to Hank, it might as well be a poorly made house for humans. In that case, it would be truly embarrassing for Joseph and Dale by association.

2 “Mr. Big Is Pleased”

One Of Dale’s Finest Episodes

Hank from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S6 E2, "Soldier of Misfortune"

Dale loses all ambition to work, so Hank, Bill, and Boomhauer decide to help him get motivated. They concoct a fake stealth misson, with Hank posing as a mob boss, and hire Dale to carry it out.

Hank calls himself Mr. Big but barely disguises his voice. If Dale was as great of a mercenary as he thinks he is, he should have seen through Hank’s plot. Either way, it’s a great episode filled with hilarious quotes from the whole cast.

1 “I Sell Popcorn And Popcorn Accessories”

Propane And Popcorn, The Difference Is Just A Few Letters

Hank and Luanne from King of the Hill
  • Episode: S2 E12, "Meet the Manger Babies"

Bringing to light only one of Hank’s famous propane lines from King of the Hill would be a crime. He puts a spin on this classic quote in “Meet the Manger Babies.” The episode is about Luanne putting on a puppet show for Sunday School.

After Luanne gets stuck in her plot, Hank steps in as a fake movie manager. What exactly is a popcorn accessory? The bag? Would a drink be an accessory? Either way, it’s a good line and a darn fine episode overall.

King of the Hill
King of the Hill
Release Date
January 12, 1997
Seasons
13
Creator
Mike Judge, Greg Daniels
Number of Episodes
259