Hitman 3 is a serious game with amusing gameplay. It’s a game all about assassinating targets in the most absurd ways possible. A simple headshot could do the trick but there’s no fun in that. The real fun is manipulating the game’s levels to ensure characters die in weird accidents that basically keep Agent 47’s hands as clean as possible.
Like the previous two entries, Hitman 3 has no shortage of memorable ways to kill these targets. Not only is it satisfying to see meticulous plans work out perfectly, but it’s also just plain hilarious. These entries will be named by their respective Challenges, for players who are interested in pulling these off personally.
Updated on January 19th, 2021 by Hodey Johns: Hitman 3 isn't losing steam as time goes on. The World of Assassination trilogy had a conclusion with so much depth that trying every possible assassination is not a measure of days or weeks but months and years. Adventurous gamers aren't just knocking out these deadly and creative kills, they're inviting their friends to begin the journey. With that in mind, this guide has been updated to showcase more than just the achievements. The moment that makes the deaths so sickly funny is also pictured. So consider this a warning that some spoilers will follow!
10 Tasteless, Traceless - Berlin
Tasteless, Traceless is available in every Hitman level as it’s just a simple poisoning kill and pros have learned to master the technique. Agent 47 can poison a few of the ten agents in Berlin but Agent Swan has perhaps the funniest poisoning in the game. All he has to do is take the disguise of a juice bar employee, poison the cup of juice, then politely offer it to Swan, who willingly drinks it without hesitation.
These ten assassins are supposed to be the best in the entire world. As players have been taking out other assassins, the team starts to get scared. Maybe it would be best if, after seeing this happen once or twice, the guards decided to lay off the booze for a minute or two.
9 Icarus - Dubai
Art connoisseur Marcus Stuyvesant has a piece simply titled “The Sun.” Unfortunately, there appears to be an issue with the electricity that is delaying its showcase. Lucky for the player, Agent 47 can provide a simple fix.
Exhibit employees are told not to put in the fuse cell until the issue is resolved but 47 can just put one in anyway and let a worker know it’s been handled. Marcus will immediately come down and see his creation. He seems to be quite infatuated with this piece of art. Little does he know that as soon Agent 47 turns the power on, he will fry instantly.
8 Angry Birdy - Dubai
Pulling this off requires some patience but the end result will have gamers exploding (pun-intended) with laughter. Among the other great gadgets and gear acquired, Agent 47 can find the exploding golf ball in a maintenance room or once he reaches Mastery Level 10. After that, simply throw it into the bucket of golf balls found outside the Atrium.
Ingram will only play golf if he gets stressed out enough. This involves playing music near his workspace and then turning on a vacuum outside his penthouse.
He’ll get so aggravated that and decide to go play golf. Thankfully, he just happens to pick up the exploding golf ball first. With one hit, the ball will explode, along with Ingram.
7 Medium Rare - Chongqing
During the Mission Story titled Certainty Principle, Imogen Royce will flex her data collection software and theorize what actions three specific employees, Sharon, Jeremy, and Alicia, will do upon being fired. Credit where credit is due, Royce’s software is correct about everything.
It’s funny that in a facility with hundreds of workers, she just happens to pick the three exact employees that can spell her doom. If fired in the correct order, players can get the core cleansing turned on with its safety mechanism disabled, burning Royce to a crisp if she’s inside it. It appears that Royce’s god-complex is what inevitably seals her fate.
6 A Grave Mistake - Dartmoor
Alexa Carlisle thought she was clever and faked her own death, even going as far as setting up a fake funeral at Dartmoor manor. Of course, Alexa won’t make it out of that day alive thanks to Agent 47. And if 47 really wants to rub it in, he can make this fictional funeral much more realistic.
This requires 47 to dress up as the undertaker at the funeral and present the bogus funeral arrangements. Wait until she inspects the grave and then take her out with one little push into the hole. To be really efficient, 47 can even grab a nearby shovel and bury her for good measure. The body can just be one more of the game's greatest mysteries.
5 Domestic Disturbance - Mendoza
This one is perfect for those who like to keep their hands clean. Instead of working out some risky plan, it's possible to let someone else do the deed. It’s simple, really. All 47 has to do is get Mrs. Yates to kill Don Yates.
The way to do this is by finding a safe in Don’s basement. This safe will contain documents proving that Don had actually sabotaged Mrs. Yates’s career years earlier. It’s honestly Don’s fault as sooner or later Mrs. Yates was going to find those documents. It’s not like the safe was hidden very well. All Agent 47 was doing was speeding up the process.
4 One For The Ages - Dartmoor
IO Interactive knew this kill would be so funny that they allowed players to get a nice snapshot of the end result. In Dartmoor, Alexa Carlisle will try to get a family portrait in front of a fountain. Little does she know that Agent 47 knows a thing or two about photography.
Alexa will always be the one to sit in the chair for the photo. Conveniently, there are some wires laying right underneath the chair. Just simply expose those wires by the fountain and let the inevitable happen. What makes it even more hilarious is that Alexa won’t get electrocuted until Agent 47 takes the photo, resulting in a hilarious picture worthy of framing in Dartmoor manor.
3 Mnemonic - Chongqing
Just like Royce in this same level, Hush’s ego is what ultimately gets the better of him. Hush has been exploiting the city’s homeless population by offering them riches in exchange for taking part in his pet project. Unfortunately, this project basically causes these poor souls to lose their minds. Agent 47's dark past helps him sympathize with the victims. Thankfully, players can help him get some much-needed revenge.
In comes Agent 47, who can dress up as a homeless person and offer to be the next guinea pig. Hush just doesn’t realize that 47’s mind is chemically engineered, which is what makes him the greatest assassin in the world.
As the experiment goes on 47 keeps resisting the device, Hush will inevitably be the one who gets his brain fried.
2 How The Turntables - Berlin
In Berlin’s underground nightclub, Montgomery and Banner are roaming it from top to bottom. At some points, they will both be standing on a walkway above the dance floor. Some of the game's best details are too subtle, but these kills allow Agent 47 to be center stage.
They also just happen to be standing directly underneath the light show. With a screwdriver, 47 can disable the safety mechanism next to them. The next step is to take on the role of the DJ and let the fun begin. During the show’s grand finale, the lights will end up burning Montgomery and Banner to crisp. The show is apparently so lit that everyone dancing won’t even care that two men were just murdered above them.
1 Mile High Drop - Dubai
As soon as it was revealed that the first level in Hitman 3 would be in the world’s tallest building, it was obvious that someone was going to fall off. In this particular instance, 47 won’t even need to push them. By triggering an evacuation, both Ingram and Stuyvesant will eventually leave by parachute and the venerated Internation Contract Agency can lose two of their best agents due to an... *ahem* accident.
Now, there are a couple of ways to do this. Agent 47 could snipe them as they fall, but that would be too much work. Instead, just find a knife and tear their parachutes on the wall before they’re taken. Players will then hear them both scream as their parachutes break mid-air. Dark? Yes. Hilarious? Undoubtedly.
Hitman 3 was released on January 20th, 2021, and is available for PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S, Nintendo Switch, and PC.