With the release of Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy, Rockstar's classic titles from the 3D era have finally been given a much-needed remaster. Making use of sharper graphics and smoother controls, it's never been a better time to revisit Grand Theft Auto 3.
Although GTA 3 lacks the narrative complexity of later games in the series, it still possesses plenty of sharp and funny dialogue. Whether coming from one of the main characters or a simple pedestrian, GTA 3 certainly has some memorable quotes and one-liners (just not from Claude). For longtime fans of the franchise, this selection of quotes should definitely ring a nostalgic bell.
8 "You're Just Small Time."
One of the first quotes that may stick in players' memories occurs during the intro cutscene. While in the midst of a bank robbery, fans witness the game's protagonist, Claude, getting betrayed by his girlfriend, Catalina. This rather simple scene lays the groundwork for the rest of the game's narrative.
When Claude rounds the corner, he finds Catalina pointing her guns at him. She says, "Sorry babe, I'm an ambitious girl and you......you're just small time." Ironically, as the events of GTA 3 unfold, Claude proves to be anything but "small time."
7 "Go And Introduce A Bat To His Face!"
The first organization that Claude begins to work for in GTA 3 is the Leone Crime Family. Claude starts running errands for Luigi, a made man in the Leone Family. The first job is simple enough; chauffering Joey Leone's girlfriend around Liberty City.
Business, however, picks up during Luigi's second mission. After learning that someone has been introducing the drug SPANK to his "girls" at the docks, Luigi instructs Claude to "go and introduce a bat to his face!" Luigi's voice actor, Joe Pantoliano (of Sopranos fame), delivers the line perfectly.
6 "No Fancy Cr*p."
Claude starts to move up in the criminal underworld after meeting Toni Cipriani, a capo in the Leone Family. During the mission, "Ciprani's Chauffer," Claude's job is to chaperone the no-nonsense mobster while the latter collects protection money from various businesses.
Toni wants the whole endeavor to go off smoothly, warning Claude by stating, "No fancy crap." When Toni and Claude are attacked by a rival gang, they're forced to make a quick getaway. Humorously, if Claude crashes into anything during the car ride, Toni will yell, "Hey! I said no fancy crap!"
5 "Let's Teach These Would Be Tough Guys What It Means To Be Tough!"
In the follow-up mission with Toni, "Taking Out the Laundry," Claude is tasked with destroying a series of laundry vans belonging to the Triads. During the intro cutscene to this mission, Toni is understandably furious about the attempt on his life.
Referring to the Triads, he angrily tells Claude, "Let's teach these would be tough guys what it means to be tough!" Right after Toni makes this statement, his mother comedically chimes in by saying that Toni's father would never put up with such disrespect.
4 "I See Nothing But Good Things For You, My Boy."
Claude's work for the Mafia eventually pays off. He's introduced to the head of the family, Salvatore Leone, and begins taking on more important jobs as a result. The two characters formally meet each other in the mission, "Salvatore's Called a Meeting."
Upon meeting the don himself, Salvatore wraps his arm around Claude and says, "I see nothing but good things for you, my boy." Despite the promising start to this business relationship, things don't end well between Claude and Salvatore.
3 "I Know What You're Thinking, Another Bent Cop. Well, It's A Bent World."
GTA 3 contains quite a star-studded list of voice talent. Arguably the best of the bunch is Robert Loggia's hammy performance of Ray Machowski. A dirty cop on the Yakuza's payroll, Claude is repeatedly called upon to help Ray out of his latest troubles.
When Claude first meets Ray, the latter succinctly tells players everything they need to know about him. Ray says, "I know what you're thinking, another bent cop. Well, it's a bent world." From those two sentences alone, players know that Ray is a jaded, coldly realistic individual.
2 "Nothing Drives Down Prices Like A Good Old-Fashioned Gang War."
Out of all of Claude's employers, the most enigmatic is perhaps Donald Love. As the billionaire owner of a multimedia conglomerate, Love's resources and influence are vast. He also doesn't shy away from dealings of a more illicit nature, which is where Claude's services come into play.
In one mission, Love instructs Claude to engineer a gang war so that the price of real estate will drop, allowing him to purchase more land. He sums up the plan by saying, "Nothing drives down prices like a good old-fashioned gang war." In case fans have any doubts, Love isn't exactly a very benevolent person.
1 "You, Off My Planet!"
The diverse collection of pedestrian dialogue in GTA 3 is memorable in itself. Much of it is uncouth, raunchy, and downright hilarious. Deciding which pedestrian quotes are the best is difficult since there are quite a few worthy contenders. One example, then, will have to suffice.
Pedestrians will speak a few different lines of dialogue depending on what's going on around them. For example, one woman on Staunton Island will say, "You, off my planet!" if the player nearly misses her with their car. That's just one of the many weird and funny lines spoken by Liberty City's wacky inhabitants.
Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy-The Definitive Edition was released on November 11, 2021 and is currently available on PC, Playstation 5, Xbox Series X/S, Playstation 4, Xbox One, and Switch.