Video game bosses are a staple in the medium. They are also widely divergent when it comes to quality. Some bosses are instantly memorable thanks to their difficulty, appearance, and for how they challenge the player and their preconceived notions of the game. Other bosses are horribly easy, requiring little more than a few prompt button presses to vanquish. These don't challenge you - they encourage you to remain complacent and to generate a false sense of superiority.
These are those bosses. These are ten ridiculously easy video game bosses and how many hits they take to beat.
10 Old King Coal
Old King Coal is a boss in Banjo-Tooie, and the entire fight takes place in a dangerous pit of lava. This certainly sounds menacing...until you realize that there's a specific rock that doesn't get affected by the lava flow.
Once you figure that out, all you need to do is go into first-person view and pepper him with a dozen odd bombs until he dies. He barely attacks you, and once he loses his arms, all he does is run around in a pitiful and defenseless manner. The fight is ridiculously easy, provided you know what to do.
9 Whispy Woods (6 Hits)
Whispy Woods is a boss in Kirby's Dreamland, and depending on your skill, can actually be a little difficult. There's quite a bit to it, as you have to dodge falling spiky enemies, suck up falling fruit, shoot it at the tree, and then dodge the tree's incoming blows.
It sounds like a lot, and it certainly can be, but once you get the hang of it it's a total breeze. Even on hard mode, the tree can be defeated in less than a minute and maybe five or six direct attacks. Not too bad, considering how brutal these side scrollers could be!
8 Cloud N Candy (6-7 Hits)
We don't blame Yoshi's Story too much, seeing as how it's primarily made for children. But geez, they could respect their audience a little more. Cloud N Candy is a ridiculous boss fight. When it lands, you need to avoid its giant bounces and lick it whenever it comes too close. Each lick will diminish its size, and before long Yoshi will completely devour the enemy. The stupid thing is that Cloud N Candy only takes about four or five licks to completely dissolve. The whole thing can be over in twenty seconds, and you'll be left sitting there wondering what on Earth the developers were thinking.
7 343 Guilty Spark (3 Hits)
Halo 3 was a brilliant conclusion to the iconic series, but we have to admit, that fight with 343 Guilty Spark was kinda wack. It's stupidly easy, as you just need to avoid his very limited beam of energy and shoot him a couple times with the Battle Rifle or shotgun.
In fact, you don't even need to shoot him if you don't want, because Johnson will eventually distract him! Once you obtain Johnson's weapon, all you need to do is charge it up and fire it three times. After the third hit, Spark will explode in a shower of blue sparks. Easy peasy.
6 King Bob-Omb (3 Hits)
Big Bob Omb is one of the first main bosses you'll fight in Super Mario 64. And, as with all introductory boss battles, he is a cake walk. However, it's surprising to see just how much of a cake walk he actually is.
All you have to do is avoid his very short reach, run behind him, pick him up, and throw him to the ground. Do that three times and he is finished. The entire boss battle is over in three hits, and depending on your skill level, it could take you as little as...thirty seconds. Yeah, there isn't a whole lot to this one...
5 Al Mualim (3 Hits)
Al Mualim serves as the final boss of the first Assassin's Creed, and while it is certainly a fun and visually stimulating engagement, there's not really a whole lot to it. Once he attacks you, all you need to do is dodge and counterattack.
Once you do this, his health bar will deplete and he will vanquish, forcing you to run around the map in an attempt to locate him. Once you find him and counterattack two more times, the fight is over. Seriously, what's with boss fights ending after three hits?
4 Topmaniac (6 Hits)
Topmaniac is the King Bob-omb equivalent of Super Mario Galaxy. The fight with Topmaniac takes place in a circle surrounded by electrified fields. Topmaniac sends out two minions, and you are forced to deflect them into these electrified fields to disable them. Following that, Topmaniac itself will attack you, and you need to jump on its giant button before deflecting it into the electricity as well.
There's a little more to it than simply "go behind it and pick it up," but it's still done in just three sequences.
3 Vaas (1 Hit)
The final battle with Vaas is a little different than most. Once you enter into the trippy dream-like hallucination, you need to shoot seemingly endless copies of Vaas as he charges at you with a knife. Luckily, these aren't too dangerous and only take one shot to defeat. But once you do that you get to the real Vaas, and defeating him is as easy as pressing a single button. Once the button is pressed, the game will enter into an animation showing the player pulling an Arya Stark and stabbing Vaas in the stomach. And that's it. All that build up to a single press of a button!
2 Lucien (1 Hit)
Boss fights don't get much easier than Lucien. Lucien is the "final boss" of Fable II, only we strongly hesitate to even call this thing a boss fight. You essentially walk into the room and play a special music box, which deactivates Lucien's shield. Following that, you merely have to shoot him. And that's it. He doesn't fight back, he doesn't take a barrage of bullets. Just one shot and you're done! To make matters worse, you don't even have to pull the trigger! Reaver will eventually do it for you if you fart around and listen to Lucien's grandstanding. Now that's what we call easy.
1 Mysterio (1 Hit)
OK, maybe they do get a little easier. The final Mysterio fight in Spider-Man 2 is a hilarious and brilliant subversion of expectations. He proves a formidable foe throughout a majority of the game, and we watch the cutscene in horror as his life bar fills up not once, not twice, but three times! We were prepared for a fight of monumental proportions. That is, until we punched him and watched his three-pronged life bar deteriorate in seconds. Yes, all it takes is one pitiful punch to beat Mysterio for good. The game got us good...