At the LA Convention Center where E3 takes place, I took the path less traveled: down a series of booths that housed the smaller companies. And then, I walked even further away.
While exploring the giant Los Angeles Convention Center where E3 takes place, I decided to take the path less travelled: I went down a series of cubicle-like booths that were home to the smaller companies, firmly in the shadow of shadows themselves. And then, I walked even further away.
Somewhere in E3, I ran into a small desk with a TV behind it. A man approached me, and asked if I knew what Judo Baby was. I had no idea; to be honest, I still don’t. It turns out Judo Baby is a company, and they make the worst game ever. That’s not actually what it’s called – it’s Foot Dog – and it’s a football game for Wii played by dogs. If you check out their website, you’ll find…well, nothing actually, except for a .gif of a dog and dude playing guitar for some reason.
He convinced me to join a demonstration, and I stepped behind the desk. He started up a match and pixelated puppies filled the screen, one team brown dogs and the other team pink shirt-wearing poodles. It was time for the quarterback to throw! Oops, the demonstrator dropped the ball. Time for a retry and – oops, he made the right movement, but the character dropped the ball.
I couldn’t resist playing myself. The mechanics were simple: move the Wiimote, and occasionally press the A Button. The ball was thrown to my quarterback, and I prepared to aim my throw.
Oh hey, the game broke. Like, it actually broke. As one of the other Judo Baby guys went over to fix it, I sidled away and disappeared around the corner. Somewhere in Heaven, those poor pixelated puppies made a touchdown, in a world where the game actually worked.
I’m no stickler for most games at E3 – there are alpha builds and beta builds, bugs happen. But if you’re gonna demo a game in the largest media convention, it should probably work. Either way, let’s suppose the game worked completely – it’s dogs playing football in a game called Foot Dog. It’s still the worst game ever.