The recent remaster of the original Destroy All Humans has fans clamoring over the possibility of a remaster of the game's sequel. It's one of the few games that puts the player in the shoes of a stereotypical cow-abducting, anal-probing, mind-controlling Alien, and lets them loose upon the unsuspecting 1940's public.
The game gives players a lot of ways to get through missions, including a variety of upgrades to the four main weapons available to Crypto. The Zap-o-Matic, Disintegrator Ray, Anal Probe, and Ion Detonator each have a variety of upgrade options, but some clearly outrank others in terms of usefulness. Here are the best choices.
10 Zap-o-Matic - Gortan Shock Multiplier
The Zap-o-Matic is Crypto's first gun in every Destroy all Humans game, including the 2020 remaster, but that doesn't make it Crypto's weakest. With a few upgrades, this gun turns into a weapon that paralyzes hordes of people rapidly.
The Gortan Shock Multiplier upgrade for the Zap-o-Matic increases the gun's damage depending on how charged the weapon is. When the Zap-o-Matic is at a full charge, it deals significantly more damage. This upgrade will set you back 2250 DNA points.
9 Disintegrator Ray - Proton Protonizer
The Disintegrator Ray is a gun that shoots flaming balls at enemies, incinerating them. It also deals extra damage to vehicles and other mechanical enemies. The Proton Protonizer is a simple upgrade, but a necessary one to combat the gun's one flaw.
The Disintegrator Ray shoots pretty slowly, so the Proton Protonizer upgrade increases the gun's fire rate significantly. It shoots roughly twice as fast, but it'll cost 4000 DNA to ugprade.
8 Zap-o-Matic - Iridium Arc Splitter/Spreader
The GortanShock Multiplier upgrade for Crypto's Zap-o-Matic is powerful, but it's not as good as the Iridium Arc Splitter or Iridium Arc Spreader upgrades in terms of wiping out enemies all at once.
The Iridium Arc Splitter lets the Zap-o-Matic affect more than one enemy, while the Iridium Arc Spreader increases the number of enemies that the Zap-o-Matic is then able to hit. The Splitter costs 1500 DNA points, while the Spreader costs 2500 DNA points.
7 Anal Probe - Centipedal Probulator
The Anal Probe in Destroy All Humans is deadly on single targets, and also allows Crypto to harvest DNA. When used, it blows up the target's head then launches their brain out. Collecting the brain stem provides some DNA to use for upgrades and such.
The Centipedal Probulator increases the number of affected targets for the Anal Probe by making it automatically target another enemy when the initial target dies. It's a super useful upgrade for a low fire-rate gun, and it'll set the player back 3000 DNA points.
6 Ion Detonator - Transmogrificationatomaticulizer
The Ion Detonator is sort of like a combination between a grenade launcher and an explosive charge. Crypto can choose to set off the explosion remotely or let it expire and explode after about 10 seconds.
The Transmogrificationatomaticulizer is the second upgrade for the Ion Detonator after the Transmogrificationizer. Both upgrades give objects destroyed in an Ion Detonator explosion a chance to be transmogrified. The first upgrade will cost 1000 DNA points, while the second costs 2000 DNA points.
5 Anal Probe - Rectal Packager Supreme
The Rectal Packager Supreme achieves the same effect as the Centipedal Probulator, but in a much more effective way. Instead of making the additional target for the probe dependent upon the initial target's death, the Rectal Packager Supreme simply increases the number of probes Crypto can use at one time.
It's a costly upgrade at 4000 DNA points, but it will make its cost back quickly once the player starts farming enemy brain stems for DNA points en masse.
4 4. Disintegrator Ray - Cascade Incinerator/Immolator
The Cascade Incinerator and Cascade Immolator upgrades for the Disintegrator Ray outrank the Proton Protonizer because of the damage scaling the two upgrades unlock. Each of the two Cascade upgrades will increase damage dealt to a target as they are hit with repeated attacks.
While the Cascade Immolator is just a better version of the Cascade Incinerator, the damage increase makes Crypto unstoppable with sustained shots. The Cascade Incinerator will cost 1250 DNA points, while the Cascade Immolator costs 2500 DNA points.
3 Ion Detonator - Temporal Distortinator
The Temporal Distortinator is a very useful upgrade. It can help Crypto control the flow of a fight against overwhelming enemies. The ability slows down time near the detonation for a few seconds, but can be canceled by attacking before the effect ends.
This ability can let the player take stock of a situation and get out of bad ones, but it's a temporary effect. It's a powerful ability, so it'll set players back 3000 DNA points.
2 Ion Detonator - Ion Vortex Coils
The best upgrade for the Ion Detonator is the Ion Vortex Coils upgrade. This ability turns the weapon's explosion into a black hole, drawing in enemies upon landing. It's the perfect pairing to weapons that damage lots of enemies at the same time, and it's arguably the most useful crowd ability in the game.
The Ion Vortex Coils don't cancel the explosion, though, they just add the gravitational effect. This can make the weapon affect way more targets than normal, multiplying the Ion Detonator's overall damage significantly. It costs a whole 4000 DNA points to unlock, though.
1 Disintegrator Ray - Tri-Fusion Chambers
The Disintegrator Ray's major drawback is its slow rate of fire. There are many upgrades that make this less annoying, but the best way to increase the damage output of this gun is to unlock the Tri-Fusion chambers.
Instead of firing just one projectile with each attack, Crypto will now shoot three with each shot. Two fireballs will launch at a slight angle, effectively turning it into an incinerating shotgun. It's one of the most expensive upgrades in the game, at 5000 DNA points.