ESRB descriptions are great for informing consumers about why a game has been rated the way it has, and they’re also great for uncovering details about still to be released gaming titles. They’re especially good when the details these descriptions reveal come off as so bizarre that you just can’t help but laugh nervously for extended periods of time.

One title you probably wouldn’t expect to have any surprises in this regard is Burnout Crash. With so little known about Criterion’s upcoming Burnout title, it’s a wonder that rating’s board summaries are the way that we’re having information disseminated to us.

Burnout Crash is an arcade game where the objective is to crash your vehicle into busy intersections and buildings, causing as much damage as possible. How this will be implemented still remains a mystery, but with the recent reveal that Need for Speed: The Run will be using DICE’s Frostbite 2.0 game engine, perhaps Criterion will also be following in Black Box’s shoes and upgrading for some very realistic property destruction.

The title comes from the game’s setting in fictional Crash City, which is likely a place where insurance rates are extortionately high. Similarly, it seems to take its premise from the Crash modes that were present in previous Burnout titles, where the objective of the additional mode was to crash your vehicle into traffic and cause the most expensive possible damage.

The ESRB summary for Burnout Crash is listed below in full.

This is an action game in which players earn points for creating traffic pileups. From a top-down perspective, players initiate crashes by driving ‘cartoony’ vehicles (e.g., cars, trucks, vans, buses) into busy intersections; multiple crashes trigger score multipliers and rack up large ‘bills’ of property damage. Each level is accompanied by crashing sounds, small explosions, and vocal encouragement (e.g., ‘Cool,’ ‘Maximum Carnage!’). In some levels, players are instructed to crash into police cars (e.g., ‘Crash them before they bust you!’); in other sequences, oversized airplanes, tornados, lobster monsters, and UFOs slide across the screen, destroying any vehicles in their path.

Of all the mysteries surrounding this game, there is none more compelling than the inclusion of airplanes, UFOs, and even “lobster monsters” in the game’s levels. Yes, lobster monsters. We can’t believe it either. Just how these objects of destruction will play into the game, as environment hazards or as player-triggered events, still remains to be revealed, but you can rest assured that Burnout Crash is going to be a bit of a departure from the series it takes its name from.

According to the ESRB description, Burnout Crash will be released for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, but since there’s no distinction on the site between the consoles and their online networks its possible that it could in fact be Xbox Live and PlayStation Network. No release date or release window has been given just yet.

Source: ESRB