Rumor Patrol: ‘Grand Theft Auto 5′ is Casting

It seems that there may be events afoot with Rockstar Games and Take-Two Interactive. Just two weeks ago there were signs that a reveal may have been in the works, and now it seems some internet sleuths have uncovered vocal and motion capture casting for Grand Theft Auto 5.

A man by the pseudonym of “Superannuation” took it upon himself to try and find any evidence of the game, so he performed a series of Google/WHOIS searches for Grand Theft Auto related items, and unsurprisingly didn’t find anything. He then had the idea to try searching for information on motion capture projects from the last year. That research revealed Telsey & Company, the official casting group for Rockstar Games, had posted a casting call for a game called Sao Paulo Knights.

For those who don’t know, Sao Paulo Knights is the same fake name that was used in the production of Max Payne 3.

Apparently on the right track, Superannuation dug a little deeper and found, on the same website, a casting call for an interactive projected entitled Rush. Inside the casting call was a series of character descriptions which were completely ridiculous, and would fit well within the virtual world of Grand Theft Auto. Subtle naming also seems to have referenced old Grand Theft Auto characters, with last names including Avery, Bell and Wong.

Here is the list of characters which may, indeed, be a casting call for Grand Theft Auto 5:

• Mitch Hayes 38 – Annoying, wise cracking, highly successful FBI agent. In great shape. Does triathlons, drinks low cal beer, but still has a sense of humor.
• Miguel Gonzalez 25 Young Mexican American FBI agent, caught between a few mob bosses. Very clean cut.
• Clyde 23 – Moronic, almost inbred and creepy white trash hillbilly. Very naïve but in a creepy ‘it’s only incest sort of way’
• Brother Adam Welsh monk / cult leader / yoga teacher – 50, very lithe, very into exploring your personal tension through gripping massage. Needs Welsh accent.
• Mrs Avery Neurotic soccer mom, home maker, 48, anxious and addled on pain killers. Very angry at neighbor MRS Bell.
• Mrs Bell Swinger, and mellow Californian divorcee. 45. Ugly but comfortable with self.
• Eddie 47 – Weed evangelist, guy who started smoking at 30, and is now a leading proponent of marijuana’s fantastic properties. White, awkward.
• Ira Bernstein 56 – publicist for an actress known as America’s newest sweetheart who just so happens to love animals, orphans, drugs and sex. He’s always trying to hide her latest indiscretion.
• Kevin De Silva 18 – Albert’s fat, FPS playing gamer son. Smokes a lot of weed, has anxiety issues and a card for a bad back, very soft, very opinionated. Into making racist comments while playing online.
• Harut Vartanyan 42-52 years old – Armenian car dealer, moneylender, would be Fagin and would be bully. Heavily connected to the underworld, but irritates people so much no one likes him.
• Nervous Jerry 48 – paranoiac living in the sticks, near Simon, completely paranoid, and terrified of Simon.
• Calvin North 55 – clapped out FBI agent who now mostly works offering advice on TV shows – whose only claim to fame turns out to be entirely false – but a decent guy in other ways. Badly dressed. Divorced. Putting on weight.
• Jerry Cole 53 – disabled IT expert and criminal information vendor.
• Rich Roberts English hardman actor, 35, who acts tough but who wants to do serious work – the only problem is he can’t quite read the words.
• Alex white 52 yr old loosie goosie hippy rich guy who has lost his money and is getting desperate but trying not to.
• Scarlet 45-52 years old – unshaven female spiritualist and hippy with a love of exploring the wilderness. Very into journeys.
• Chad 29 – pretty boy misogynist Beverly Hills party boy. Made money, but not as cool as he thinks he is.
• Tae Wong 39 – somewhat incompetent Chinese mobster, loves doing ecstasy, going to raves.
• Tae’s Translator 45 – VERY STRAIGHT LACED Chinese translator, terrified of his boss’s dad. Male, awkward. Needs to speak Chinese.

What do you think, Ranters? Do you believe this could be a list of characters in the next Grand Theft Auto, or just a list of really strange characters?

Source: VGHQ