SimCity Lies We Were Taught

When you talk about the city-building genre, it's nearly impossible to do so without paying respect to the path forged by SimCity. Now Maxis has unveiled their reboot of the franchise, bringing unparalleled levels of simulation to the same classic formula.

Of course, when we look back on just how well SimCity prepared us for the inner workings of a major urban center, we can't help but remember all the rude awakenings we experienced when we finally traded the game world for the real thing.

Take a walk down memory lane with us, as we recall The 5 Biggest Lies SimCity Taught Us.

The Mayor is Above the Law

SimCity Mayor Monarch

Some more mature gamers may have realized when they first booted up Will Wright's city simulator that suspension of disbelief was going to be needed for the kinds of interaction and control over the city it would make possible. But we weren't wise enough then to know where the line between mayoral authority, and unconstitutional behavior lay.

The desire to 'be a good mayor' was all that really drove us to keep citizens happy, and the city's budget in the black. But when our unilateral decisionmaking started tipping the scales away from happiness and toward the call of profits, no one stopped us.

We basked in the glow of the unchecked majesty of the 'Mayor's Office.' So imagine our surprise when we learned of city councils, state and federal legislature, and these weird things called 'voters.' Honestly, who knew ruling over a small kingdo-- sorry, city, could be so hard?

An Empty House is a Condemned House

SimCity Abandoned Buildings

Any SimCity player knows how to tell if their city is suddenly being hit with widespread vacancies. Just watch for the families or business owners to pack up, move out...and leave their building falling into complete decay and rot moments after the door slammed without anyone to hear it.

Sure, NOW we know that the change in appearance was just an indicator of a property being abandoned. But back then, our minds struggled to grasp the cause and effect being evidenced. The only possible answer was that our families living in our house was the only thing keeping the drywall up and the roof intact.

We don't know what scared our parents more: our refusal to leave our bedroom on the grounds that "everything will die and fall apart," or our plan to rebuild the abandoned lumber mill by trying to sleep in it.

Aliens Do Exist (and Want to Kill Everyone)

SimCity Alien Invasion

It's the question that has nagged at scientists for centuries: are we alone in the universe? Luckily, Will Wright helped answer that question before we were old enough to think every extraterrestrial might not love Reese's Pieces. Apparently Maxis had better sources, since they wasted no time in promising that aliens aren't just moments away from invasion, but they won't be looking to negotiate.

It wasn't until we were wetting our pants every time a garbage truck drove by, and demanding our parents build an underground bunker since "they could be here any minute" that we realized we may have been misinformed.

Now that we're older and wiser, we know that there's no such thing as aliens. If there are though, we have nothing to worry about, since they'll be disguised as cars, and probably have extensive accompanying toy lines.

Only Luxuries Are Privatized

SimCity Public Works Privatized

The logic here makes sense: the price of utilities, power, water supply, and public transportation are all monitored by the Mayor's office. Prices go too high, and people will pay, but won't be happy about it. As a result, productivity (read: income) suffers in another area or industry as a result.

The lesson? Commercial districts can charge what they like to whoever they like, but if public officials want their city to succeed, they'll keep their citizens happy and healthy (and with a little money in their pockets).

The only problem with that is that since most countries in the world aren't communist republics, basic needs like electricity and running water don't have to be public works. So when a company owns all the power, water, or gas, they get to charge whatever they choose. If high prices bring down productivity elsewhere, that's not their problem. We still think a Mayor monarch wouldn't be the worst idea...

Don't Plan - React!

SimCity Fire Screenshot

But those rules applied to the realm of Little League or camping - small potatoes compared to the grand world of civil engineering. And where they taught preparation, Maxis made it clear: spending money to prevent a disaster miles down the road is a fool's game.

While amateur players installed firehalls on every street corner, we knew that was nothing more than betting against our own Sims. We spent money on luxuries and rapid growth. If a fire happened to break out without a firehall near, well, that's what the 'Pause' button is for. Just freeze time, erect a firehall next door, and watch our citizens marvel at their miraculous Mayor.

As it turns out, real cities don't have a 'Pause' button. Or if they do, it's a lot harder to find. Let's just say that there's a reason that the saying isn't "we'll cross that bridge when it's bursting into flames."

Conclusion

SimCity Lies We Were Taught

We learned plenty from the long line of SimCity games that have been released to this point, and the newest edition will hopefully be adding to the list. Luckily we made it this far without the more 'gamey' mechanics and rules damaging us. Permanently, anyway.

Any other fond SimCity memories you've got from your time with the game? Were you as shocked as us to learn that real cities don't play by the same rules as the game? Share some of your own stories in the comments.

SimCity is available now for the PC.

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Follow me on Twitter @andrew_dyce.