Ubisoft’s ‘Media Briefing’
Let’s make one thing clear here: press conferences are incredibly complicated events. Orchestrating several of a publisher’s highest-ranking executives delivering well-worded announcements and teases alongside highly-honed gameplay demonstrations is an art form that almost all of the biggest studios on hand performed better than usual. In fact, with the events being so meticulously planned and structured, seeing those on stage deliver off-the-cuff statements (look no farther than Michael Irving during EA’s presser) can quickly become a highlight.
But sometimes, people go too far. And in the case of Ubisoft, they had some help. We’re not prudes, so we’re not talking about the parade of short-shorted dancers demonstrating Just Dance 4. We know as much as anyone that attractive people having fun playing games is a great way to advertise a lifestyle. Host Aisha Tyler’s claim that the girls were the attention of everyone present since we’re “all a little bit gay” was a bit of a surprise, but we didn’t know what we were in for. Those not in attendance may not have heard the catcalls and cheers from some of the ‘press’ assembled at the sight of bare breasts in the Far Cry 3 segment, but in retrospect, it set the tone for what followed.
Tyler’s continuing references to ‘girl wood,’ premature ejaculation jokes and banter with with her co-host that was more cruel and uncomfortable than anything else had us longing for the professional demeanor of last year’s ‘Mr. Caffeine.’ Even if he was a bit abrasive and irritating, he never descended to juvenile. We don’t hold anything against Aisha Tyler, since she was sought out by Ubisoft. But it seemed that too much attention was paid to giving those in the theater what they wanted – some cheered for digital boobs, remember – instead of the millions around the world looking at what would define the studio for the coming years. For a quick lesson on how a company should match pride, experience, optimism and dignity under such weight, simply have a look at Sony’s show.
The worst part of all of this is that Ubisoft probably had the most games that we are now anticipating on display. Watch Dogs and Splinter Cell: Blacklist were game-changing and surprising respectively, and Assassin’s Creed 3 and Rayman: Legends showed that the studio is intending to improve even their most successful franchises. Had Ubisoft merely ran the trailers and demos without any host, nothing would have gotten in the way of our excitement.
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So there you have it: our list of the memories we will carry with us as the lowest of the low, or at the very least the most confusing. You will likely have some of your own that we’ve missed, so feel free to share them in the comments. E3 2012 wasn’t all bad, so be sure to check out our 5 Best Cinematic Trailers and 5 Best Gameplay Trailers of E3 2012 too.
We’d like to say that the issues we have with the individual developers and minds behind the press conferences should be corrected after such monumental disaster. But then again, there’s always next year!
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Follow us on Twitter @andrew_dyce and @ANTaormina.
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I was hoping yall would mention g4′s absolutely atrocious attempt at covering e3.
not part of E3. Just helps bring E3 to those who are not exclusive enough to go.
Yea the girl at ubisoft’s (Not sure if she hates Toby turner)
EA needs to they will make even more money if they actually put effort into multiplayer and not some last minute stick together crap. Dead space 2′s multiplayer was terrible and there is a reason I have not touched ME 3′s multiplayer sense the demo.
shrift?
Wow, so after watching that E3 demo of Far Cry 3, I somehow want to play that game even less… So the main character is supposedly looking for his “girlfriend” but on the way he’s getting with this other girl?? And I’m sorry, but is he invincible or something? He was literally shot like 20 times or more point blank on several occassions without any consequences… And I still hate how freakin’ quiet all of the weapons are, I feel like I’m watching an airsoft fight, and the amount of hits he can take kind of supports that too…
Normally they play these demos on really easy with maxed out health so I wouldn’t put much into that. But yeah I’m not sure about the whole tribe thing with the naked lady. I think the game will be pretty good. I’m excited for the cover option and stealth kills in this game along with the open world. I think the cover did really well for a FPS in Killzone.
Wow! Talk about jumping the gun. DS3 Looks nothing like Gears. Oh wait, it’s because Isaac can roll and John Carver yelled out curse words?
Remember the experience will differ when you play solo or co-op. exactly how you said, co-op will be “fun & excited” with a touch of facing horror with friends. Solo will still carry that same survival/ horror of the 2nd and Im sure playing on higher difficulties will still give that intense, alone feeling.
That is putting ALOT of confidence into what hasn’t been shown. From everything we saw at the press conference, and behind closed-doors demo, the title is placing far more emphasis on machine-gunning and cover than in previous games.
We can’t speak to the game in its entirety, but I really hope you’re right to assume that the rest of the game will be exactly what you expect.
How did Usher’s waste of time not make this list? Seriously. We wanted game info, not a mini-concert. even 2 minutes on that is time lost in marketing.
Though it wasn’t for the more hardcore gamers Usher’s preformance was the best way to sell Dance Central. Certainly better than watching random dancers actually play the thing.
Pretty much all of EA’s conference was godawful. Only two things I liked: Dead Space 3 and TOR going free to play to level 15 in July.
Basic summary of rest:
Heres a bunch of sports games! Oh, yeah, and we’re remaking a NFS game we put out 7 years ago. Also, here’s generic shooter- I mean Medal Of HonorL Warfighter. Also, Crysis 3, by the company who SHOULD make Timesplitters 4, but due to it underselling on PS2, we’ll just hide behind this.
SKYLANDERS GIANTS will sell more than every game in that summary on Justin’s comment
Now remember, when it comes to cancelled games, it comes to ruined games.